i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
