i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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