We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
