its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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