i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
