that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
