dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
