He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
