Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
