I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
