I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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