The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
