so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
