ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
