I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
