remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
