carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
