doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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