Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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