i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
is that a dick in a sweater?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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