he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize
