Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
