ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
