I puked a lego.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
