It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
