You were right. It hurts to walk today.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
