As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
