the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
