If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
