Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
