Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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