My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
