You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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