Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wish you could order shots online.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
