Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
