dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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