So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
