Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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