just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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