i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
