I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
