I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Can I color on your dick again?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
