my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he thought i was a dude.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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