No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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