Just fell off a train. Bad.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
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