I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
