my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
