Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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