Kiss
Puke
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
