Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
