Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
