I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Do you have feelings for this penis?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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