He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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